Finding your true purpose

I’m going to put this my own way.

The experiences and chapters in our life that we grow most from, defining us- for better or for worse- are tell-tale signs of what our true purpose is. They are usually marked by our greatest triumphs, our hardest struggles; moments that remain ingrained deeply at the back of our minds; memories when recalled, resonate deeply in our hearts; stories that we live to tell others 10, 20 years down the road.

It tells us about who we are, why are we here, and how do we relate to others and the world at large. The actual context may not matter; it is our footsteps and not the actual scenarios that the world puts us through that speaks about that purpose and the nature of ourselves. It could be dreams from early days of our childhood or school. An scientist, a wildlife or animal advocate, a soldier, a ballerina, an artist... It could be a significant person who has influenced or impacted us in a way we can’t change or forget. For most, it changes with time. For some, they grow up learning that not everything in life has a desired ending and life has to go on.

Finally, some years later, fate comes knocking on your door again and you wonder if it was god trying to pull another fast one on you, or offering you another shot.

The outcomes of these events may not ultimately lead to the manifestation of your vision or ambition into reality, achieving what you had planned or toiled for, especially in terms of a job, career, possession, mission, or achievement. However, it does offer a very important revelation underneath the very things that ignite the fire within us, or dampen our spirit. They are stuff that truly matter, beneath the matrix of rules and games that life has taught us to play.

I had always wanted to be in the armed forces, to go on long deployment tours, far away from home, kith and kin, in foreign, mysterious lands with like-minded individuals; to be trained and to go far beyond my limits that I could ever imagine; to constantly and never stop become better at what I do, to live life on the fringe, on the edge, to be in complete control of my world, to live and die in it, to keep going closer to whatever that calling is, deep inside.

Almost 2 years of full-time National Service (conscription) and 8 years of annual call-backs for training, exercises and evaluations had me going through different thoughts at different points in time but what was unchanged was it never failed to strike a chord and set me pondering even until today. Although I didn’t sign on as a career soldier (due to a series of events that took place way before I entered the military), I found myself fighting still and I could never run away from that calling.

I realize that beneath that innate desire to live on the battlefield, is to go to places where nobody want to go; to be entrusted to go against insurmountable odds and overcome it; to fight for the breathe of liberation that feeds the soul.

When you finally come onto the path of finding your own purpose, you'll be met with those odds in another form, the demons of your demons to meet face to face with, circumstances and people who disbelieve in or stand against you, or by simply by trampling over what is sacred to you, or by simply existing in a completely different paradigm, oblivious to yours.